


The Red Shirt of Doom!

by RedJusticeLibra



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, I originally posted this on ff, Improvements made, Like 2 years, Old work, i think i failed, idk anymore, this was supposed to be funny, what even is tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedJusticeLibra/pseuds/RedJusticeLibra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or in which Leon notices something important, bandits are idiots, Elyan has a plan, Merlin is mugged (sort of), and Arthur misses everything, as per usual. </p>
<p>Alternatively titled "Just Another Day in Camelot"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Red Shirt of Doom!

**Author's Note:**

> I am slowly cross posting all my old fics here from ff with a few new edits. This one in particular has a lot of editing. I wrote this two years ago originally and I like to think that my writing has gotten better since then. Anyway enjoy!

"Hey, Elyan." said Leon as he rode up next to his fellow knight on horseback.

"What is it, Leon?" asked the younger knight.

"I've noticed something, something... important." answered Leon. He was forced to raise his voice slightly in order to be heard over Gwaine's retelling of why he will never be caught in a tavern with a pineapple, a chicken, and an inn keeper wielding a spatula ever again. Personally Leon didn't really want to know what had happened.

Elyan furrowed his brow in question. "What have you noticed?" 

"It's Merlin." Leon shifted his eyes toward the loyal manservant who was trailing behind Arthur.

"Merlin? What's wrong with Merlin? Elyan was only becoming more confused by Leon’s refusal to give a straight answer. Meanwhile Leon sent a pointed glare at Elyan. How could he not see was Leon was trying to say? In Leon’s mind it was very obvious what he was attempting to communicate. 

"It's not Merlin. It's his shirt. It's red." 

By now Elyan was thoroughly confused. Leon may have been a man of relatively few words, but it wasn't often that the older knight was this ambiguous.

"Indeed it is, but I am failing to see the problem here." Leon sighed in frustration. Apparently, Elyan still did not understand and needed a better explanation.

"Haven't you noticed that almost every time Merlin wears that red shirt something bad happens? Mark my words something bad will happen today."

"No, I haven't noticed, Leon, but now that you mention it…." He trailed off lost in thought. Elyan took a moment to remember the various scrapes that he had gotten into with the clumsy manservant. He was surprised to realize that Leon was right. In nearly every one of those memories that red shirt was present. Perhaps there was some truth to Leon’s ramblings… Elyan's musing was cut short by Percival's shout of warning.

"Look out!"

Elyan ducked just in time to avoid an arrow that had been aimed for his head. He immediately dismounted and unsheathed his sword. He was surrounded by three bandits that had run down the hill above the path. He easily took them down with a few parries and counter moves. 

Leon was honestly surprised by the bandits stupidity; ten of them vs. the King of Camelot and four of his best knights, oh and Merlin but it's not like he ever did anything helpful during fights. The bandits never stood a chance. Shortly after they had remounted and went off in search of campsite for the night, Leon was approached by Elyan who wore a face of concern.

He glanced around to make sure that the other members of their hunting party were not listening. "Leon I think you're right."

"Of course I am. We must do something about that horrible shirt."

"You're in luck, Leon, because I have a plan." Elyan grinned and leaned closer to Leon, careful not to fall off his horse, and told him his plan.

*R*E*D**S*H*I*R*T**O*F**D*O*O*M*

An hour later all the knights, except for Arthur who was off collecting more firewood, were relaxing around the fire in their new campsite waiting for Merlin to make the rabbits into stew.

Leon quickly glanced at Elyan, who gave him the signal for their, cough Elyan's cough, plan to be put into action. They both leapt at the same time and tackled Merlin, pinning him to the ground and attempting to rip the shirt off his back.

Gwaine and Percival were startled by the sudden movement and Merlin's vocal protests.

"Ow! What the-! Guys, get off me!"

Elyan held the torn shirt up with a shout of victory. "I got it!" There was a look of great relief on his face.

"Great! Now, quickly burn it with fire!" screamed Leon. His eyes taking on a crazed light as they reflected the light of the fire burning Merlin’s shirt. 

Merlin rose from where he had been laying on the ground and pointed an accusing finger at Leon and Elyan.

"What was that for?! You burned my favorite shirt!" Merlin look about as threatening as a field mouse as he stared down the knights. 

"Oh, so you like getting us into trouble, do you?" Elyan took a step towards the manservant.

"What are you on about?" asked Merlin, who was still miffed over the loss of his shirt.

Leon responded with an accusing tone of voice, "Every time you wear that shirt something bad happens! We had to destroy it if we wanted to keep up our record of having lived this long. By destroying it we’ve vastly increased our chances of surviving!"

"That's crazy! You're crazy! How can my shirt be responsible for every bad thing that happens to us?" Merlin threw his hands in the air and glanced up at the sky in a pleading gesture, probably wonder why he put up with these idiots.

"If you think that's true," challenged Elyan, "then how do you explain the earlier bandit attack, hmmm?" He had a satisfied smirk on his face, as if he thought Merlin wouldn't have an answer to his question.

Merlin in turn looked at Elyan as if he was a bit slow, and said as if he were explaining something to a small child, "They were bandits hiding out in the woods. We were travelers passing through the area they planned to ambush. The bandits saw us and attacked us. There, end of story."

Gwaine added in with a smile, "You forgot the part where we fought the bandits and I kicked ass."

"Shut up, Gwaine!" snapped Leon. "Your point doesn't prove anything Merlin. You were still wearing the red shirt."

"You know what, I give up! You two are hopeless! I'll just buy myself a new red shirt when we get back to Camelot." Merlin turned around with a huff and went to sit next to Gwaine

Leon and Elyan's eyes widened in shock and a look of horror flashed across their faces before they screamed in unison.

"Noooooooo! Are you trying to get us killed?!"

"Oh, would you two just shut up!" ordered Merlin in a voice that conveyed how utterly done he was with their shit. And shut up they did. It seemed that they were mentally processing the idea that they would soon have another red shirt to deal with as they sat down.

Merlin looked towards Gwaine and asked, "Could I borrow your extra shirt; it's cold out.” Gwaine flashed him a grin and nodded his consent before he went to fetch the requested item from his pack.

It was at that moment that Arthur decided to make his reappearance. “I found a dead tree so we have plenty-” he stopped midsentence when he saw Merlin sitting shirtless and Leon and Elyan’s despondent looks. Arthur turned towards Percival hoping to get a decent explaination "What just happened?"

Percival simply raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "I'm not sure, sire. I'm really not sure."

**Author's Note:**

> So, an explanation I guess?
> 
> This is based on something that was pointed out to me years ago, I can't remember who did it though. Basically they said that it seemed whenever Merlin wore a red shirt it signified something bad was going to happen or was happening. I have re-watched a number of episodes and have found this to hold true for most of them. This fic is the result of me wanting to write crack. I don't think I did very well, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Thanks for reading! :D
> 
> ~RedJusticeLibra


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